Have you ever been confused about when to use “who” and “whom”? You’re not alone! Imagine you’re at a café, and you overhear a barista asking a customer, “Who is ordering the caramel latte?” The customer replies, “I’m not sure whom you mean!” This little moment shows us that even in everyday conversations, these tricky pronouns can lead to confusion.
Understanding Who and Whom
In English, “who” and “whom” are pronouns. “Who” is used as the subject of a sentence, while “whom” is used as the object. Let’s break it down simply:
- Who is the doer of the action.
Example: Who is coming to dinner? - Whom is the receiver of the action.
Example: Whom did you invite to the party?
Finding the Subject and Object
To understand when to use “who” or “whom,” think about the structure of your sentence. Every sentence has a subject (the doer) and an object (the receiver).
For example:
- Subject: I sing. (I is the subject)
- Object: The ball hit me. (me is the object)
Most of the time, identifying the subject and object is straightforward. The subject usually comes before the verb, and the object comes after.
However, questions can be tricky. In questions, the word order changes:
- Correct: Who do you like best?
- Incorrect: You do like whom best?
The Challenge of Complex Sentences
Things can get complicated when a sentence has more than one clause (a subject and verb combination). Take the barista’s question: “Who is ordering the caramel latte?” It has two parts:
- Who is the subject of “is ordering.”
- I is the subject of “am not sure.”
This can be rearranged in different ways:
- Who is ordering the caramel latte?
- The caramel latte, who is ordering it?
The Evolving Use of Whom
Today, many people use “who” in both situations, and that’s perfectly fine! For example, “Who do you want?” sounds natural and casual. In spoken English, using “whom” often feels too formal. While I personally enjoy using “whom” correctly in my writing, I rarely do so in conversation.
Quick Recap
- Use “who” when it’s the subject of a sentence.
- Use “whom” when it’s the object of a sentence.
- In casual speech, “who” is widely accepted for both cases.
Remember, if you’re unsure whether to use “who” or “whom,” go with “who.” It’s more widely accepted in everyday conversation, and you’ll sound natural.